I landed into motherhood with a thud. I say landed loosely because it was more of a feeling of falling & falling HARD…
After the traumatic delivery of my first daughter and once home discovering that she would sleep no longer then two hours both day and night, we later found out that she had been misdiagnosed with lactase intolerance and unfortunately had a severe case of esophageal reflux, we had tried everything! Crying it out (as suggested to me by the ‘well meaning’ midwife) leaving her in her cot for timed intervals than responding minutes later, I tried long walks and 3am car trips, only to pull into the driveway an hour later and her eyes would Spring open, wide awake!
Long and heated discussions with well meaning family members, isolation, little contact with friends and family and a husband working two hours away, I was clearly a time bomb of emotions about to go off.
I was robotic for most of the first ten months post partum, I was quite literally the opposite of myself, unemotional and deliriously unhappy. My husband lost his job and we had to move in with my parents. Obviously this was not ‘in my plan!’
On my birthday my husband forgot to buy me a card. This was the beginning of my breakdown. I was later diagnosed with Post Natal Depression. Perhaps at that time I saw myself as ‘useless,’ that motherhood was not for me as much as I thought it would be. Ultimately though, Post Natal Depression, with time, eventually helped me to see the beauty in what was already in front of me. Once the ‘fog’ started to lift I could finally see that this was actually the beginning of me ‘becoming,’ that I am a mother. This was inevitably and ironically the breakthrough that I had needed.
During this time an attachment parenting view came to mind, completely unintentionally and without even knowing what that was. I started to trust myself as a mum and I began to listen to my intuition.
As parents sadly on the brink of separation, we decided to begin again, to start actually talking about our expectations on ourselves and as parents, to live consciously and make decisions based on what felt right for us.
Our eldest daughter was in fact our greatest teacher.
This experience of ‘becoming’ mum, has led me to here, Earthway Parenting.
As a Registered Nurse & a Maternal Child & Family Nurse I thought I already ‘knew’ all of the things about birthing & bringing up a baby, little did I know, I really had no idea! But that is & was OK! As humans we are ALWAYS learning if we choose to listen.
I felt like there was a gap between orthodox parenting & natural parenting coming from a professional perspective. So I started writing. I felt like there was something missing…. I had a strong desire to create a safe space a community for parents to feel and share without judgement.
The development of the Beyond Birth Workshop and than the Tuning into your Toddler Workshop began. I felt inspired to develop and share these programs so that as new parents either starting out on your new journey or already amongst the throes of toddler-hood, could learn how to lean in and parent from your heart space, to begin to think consciously about how you wish to raise your children gently whilst living and thinking about how you want to be evolving also as parents, together.
We are ALWAYS evolving and learning.
For you, the research and evidence based gentle parenting tools have been developed into easy and interactive workshops as well as 1:1 consultations to suit you and your unique family. I have developed these to empower you so that you leave feeling knowledgeable and confident in your new journey as parents.
My intentions are simple. To begin to lift the veil on parenting peacefully, to create positive change and conscious communication at a grassroots approach. By cultivating a relationship with yourselves, and each other, peace can than start to begin at home. This than spreads itself throughout the little people that you are raising. By parenting consciously and from your heart space, attachment parenting tools for infancy, gentle discipline, and creating the space for emotional development, will become second nature for you on your unique journey as parents.
So journey with me, let’s create change within your home together so that peace, love and kindness is sprinkled around, therefore bringing forth a more peaceful world. Let’s create some kind of magic.
Love & Light, Nikki x