The intention behind this series is to shine a light on some beautiful, inspiring and connected mamas and what Post Partum looked, or looks like for them.
I feel very passionately about this vital period in a new mamas life so I wanted to shed an honest and authentic light on it by asking a few beautiful mamas to shed the light and sometimes the dark side, on this vulnerable and transformational period in their life.
Meet Alisha, she radiates optimism, is a mama of five beautiful children. She’s forever learning and always evolving. A doula and in the process of completing her Yoga teacher training. I am SO honoured to have her share her incredible ‘Unique Post Partum’ and inspiring story with you all.
Name and Age: Alisha – 33
Children/Infants name and age: Kiyah (12), Amelia (10), Anabella (5), Byron (2), Lyla (4 months)
Relationship to self or another: Married
How has becoming a parent changed you?
To be honest, I can’t even remember a time I wasn’t a parent, I haven’t changed it’s made me who I truly was meant to be. When we fell pregnant for the first time I was 19, Phil and I had only been together for a short period of time, but I knew the moment we conceived and knew for the first time in my life that this is what was meant to be. I was still a kind of a child myself and grew up along the way. Being a mum is what forces me to find balance, to find the things that light me up that I’m passionate about. It’s made me realise how strong I am, how resilient and how much love I have to give. Being a parent made me feel whole, in a way I never knew. With every new beautiful child, we have welcomed into our lives, they have filled a space that was missing, that I had not even known existed before their arrival. Being a parent, being a mum is one of the hugest pieces of what makes up me and I’m so incredibly grateful to have been gifted this amazing life with our beautiful tribe to guide along life’s journey.
In those first few weeks Post Partum, what did it look like for you?
Every postpartum journey has been so different for me. Trying to juggle becoming parents and the adjusting of children’s places in the family. I remember with our first I was so proud, to “bounce” back straight away, going to the shop the next day, doing all the chores etc. Feeling as though I needed to be superwoman and not honour that time to heal. I didn’t know then, what I do now and I often think of how different our most recent postpartum experience is in comparison.
How did you feel?
So many varied emotions from a love we’d never experienced before to overwhelm, anxiety, guilt about not being able to care for the other kids properly. So many tears shed, thoughts about how can I do this and I’m not a good mum. I felt overwhelmingly fearful of not being able to protect our baby and something happening that was out of my control. With the birth of Lyla, it was the first time we encapsulated our placenta, and I noticed so much how much different and stable my mental state was. It was so lovely to truly appreciate this postpartum period without that cloud of anxiety that had been around for all our previous postpartum periods. Even through all of the ups and downs of those first few weeks though there is nothing quite like that postpartum oxytocin “bliss bubble” state. Falling in love with your new baby is the most magical time, I wish you could bottle it up, or make it last a bit longer because it truly does go too fast.
Alisha would like to say thank you to HADAS images for the photos.
YOU – Because your presence in their little & big moments is ‘presents’ enough
This A2 sized poster is a beautiful reminder of the simple things.
Did you feel pressure from friends, family or society in general as to how you ‘should’ parent your new baby? If so how did gently handle that sort of pressure?
With the many years of parenting we’ve been through we’ve had many different opinions of the things we “should” do. There comes a point though when you realise you need to what is best for you, for your baby and for your family. Everyone likes to have an input about how things should be done, or how they were taught to do things, but it doesn’t mean that is what is suited to your child, your core beliefs, your parenting philosophy and how you want to bring up your baby/child. We need to remember that our children chose us for a reason, so we are equipped with everything we need to be able to help them along the way.
What was the transition into parenting like for both you and your partner within your relationship?
It’s hard to remember what that first transition period was like as it was so long ago. There is no doubt in my mind that it made us stronger though. Every new baby has brought new challenges, but also new depths to our relationship. When we work as a team and communicate, we’re so much better. With our postpartum period for Lyla it was a difficult time for us, Phil wasn’t able to take time off work, so worked from home plus played Mr mum for a few weeks, so he was really under a lot of pressure as that was outside of our control. For me personally with every new baby, new blessing, I’ve fallen in love with him so much more. I am truly so lucky, the way he looks after me when I’m pregnant, to being the best labour support person and seeing him with tears streaming down his face after our baby arrives is priceless and pure perfection.
Did you make time for YOU during your Post Partum period? If so, what was your favourite thing to do to get back to YOU?
Its such simple things in those first few days and weeks, a nap when the baby is napping, a shower, a delicious nutritious meal, reading a chapter of a good book. In the weeks after though getting back to small amounts of movement, yoga and having a bath.
If you could go back to your gorgeous pregnant self, what loving, nurturing support would you offer her?
Trust the process, everything will be ok, even when it feels like it won’t be. Savour the moments of sharing such a sacred time with your baby. Enjoy it all, smile, laugh & be grateful for the magical short period of time that pregnancy is.
Post Partum & Infant Connection eWorkshop
Are you seeking a deeper knowledge of what to expect within your Post Partum period? Do you crave a supportive, non judgmental environment? Are you ready to be informed and to feel empowered on your new and exciting journey into parenthood?