The intention behind this series is to shine a light on some beautiful, inspiring and connected mamas and what Post Partum looked, or looks like for them.

I feel very passionately about this vital period in a new mamas life so i wanted to shed an honest and authentic light on it by asking a few beautiful mamas to shed the light and sometimes the dark side, on this vulnerable and transformational period in their life.

Meet Taryn, mama to a beautiful baby boy Taylah Dax, an in tune yogi and pilates instructor, and an incredible designer/stylist for CANVAS creative agency.  I’m thrilled to share Taryns ‘Unique Post Partum’ with you, shes spiritual, eloquent and honest.

 

Name and Age:  Taryn Vinson

Children/Infants name and age:  Taylah Dax Coonan | 6 months

Relationship to self or another:  Partner

How has becoming a parent changed you?

I am Taryn. Vulnerable. Tender. Intuitive. Kind. Loyal. A Mother. A Friend. A Daughter. A Sister. A Yogini. A business woman. A learner. A traveller. A lover.
Amongst all of this I am honest. Honest always to myself where ever I am at.

Becoming a mother for me,  shone a direct spotlight on the work I had put into myself self prior to arriving at that place of giving birth and taught me directly and how to love and appreciate and be in awe of me. It taught me self love.

I have learnt to surrender. Taylah Dax has taught me the art of things not going to plan and being ok with that. That might be easy for some but for a very planned person this was a big lesson in my personal development. Like a bucket of cold water thrown right at me to wake up.  My protective instincts kicked in immediately and my focus became him and revolves around him and him fitting into my world and beliefs. This has been my greatest gift at learning to slow down. I have always had massive projects and travel constantly on the go and Taylah has really grounded me. Kept me still (well for the minute anyway). I never knew I would take having a shower or shaving my legs for granted but that is a luxury at times. I really cherish this time with him and realise I will look back and truly appreciate how those little moments are such really big moments and you don’t want to miss any of it.

Becoming a parent has also taught me how to say No. To get clear really quickly on things. I am ok for the first time in my life to not say yes to everything, person situation and or project. I don’t think anyone would ever of thought I would of slowed down and becoming a parent has given me this.

In those first few weeks Post Partum, what did it look like for you?

Taylah Dax made his way early into this world. I worked until the day before I gave birth and promised to have some time for me prior to his arrival. I was doing really big hours during my pregnancy and really looked forward to some time to connect with me prior to his arrival. I had a beautiful, soft and extremely healthy and happy pregnancy and assumed I had everything organised and to plan.

My strong little Leo certainly showed me how things happen is his time in his way. And for his arrival he had a different agenda and this was a sign of things to come.

A Sunday morning walk, a ruptured placenta, 3 days of labor then an emergency cesarean and he came into this world at 34 weeks weighing 2 kilos. He was on oxygen for the first 3 days and heavily monitored for the first month. Unfortunately his weight and temperature dropped down to 1.7 kilos. We had a big road ahead for the first few months. We spent 4 weeks In ICU special care. He was fed through a tube and then a combination of breast  and breast bottle feeds. He was very little and needed extra help. I sat in the ICU next to his mini crib all through the day and all hours of the evening watching him and praying. I started very early on Singing and reading and talking to him. I become a very good story teller.

I didn’t hold my baby for 3 days and it was after that time that the midwives allowed me to bring him out of the controlled environment and onto my chest. That was the most emotional and life changing day of my life. My younger sister was with me at the time and we both cried and held each other. I was timid in my touch and very very cautious. It was very different to the way I had imagined the beginning to be. But looking back the time Taylah was in care allowed me to find my way and gave me a little more time to adjust to the process of having a new born with you 24 hours a day from birth. To shine a positive light it also gave my body a little chance to heal from the surgery.

How did you feel?

If I am to be honest I had an extremely challenging time at the beginning. Perhaps even up until Taylah was 3 months of age. I think our strong bond really began to deepen around then. Taylah really struggled to put on weight so I breast fed, expressed and bought litres after litres of donor breast milk to top up the feeds. I wasn’t producing enough milk and the milk I was producing wasn’t high in fat content. I felt like it was constantly my fault. Between sleep deprivation and emotions it was a challenging time. We were back and forth to the hospital and constant home nurse visits. It was around 4 months that things started to take a very good turn.

It is an enormous change that having a new born creates in your life, and the road is very unknown and not predictable to navigate. You can prepare yourself for many things but feel completely unprepared for most things. I was emotional, tired and healing within my physical self. Being in hospital was tough at times, but I did have a lot of help and had extra eyes and ears to chat to and learn from. Then arriving home the first few months I was very nervous and scared and I felt at times like I wasn’t doing anything right. I felt disconnected from my previous self and at times very isolated. Babies are a complete mirror of what you are going through, so if you are able to keep yourself calm and grounded they vibrate on that energy.

But although my journey is very new I have also experienced in motherhood that nothing lasts forever and changes within babies come very quickly. So although it may be tough you get through it. You come through the haze by reconnecting with what you know you can do and handle that on a day to day and build on that. Mother hood is immeasurable in ones resilience. A divine current picks you up and gently guides you and keeps you going. This is unconditional love. Surrendering to the unknown and having immense trust and faith in your ability to cope.

Did you feel pressure from friends, family or society in general as to how you ‘should’ parent your new baby?  If so how did gently handle that sort of pressure? 

Parampara – The practice allows for knowledge in spiritual, artistic and educational areas to be passed down directly through  generations without losing any of the message along the way.

I am very lucky to be surrounded by a lot of love. So I had enormous view points on how and what things might be done. At times it was overwhelming and I had to ask politely on occasion for opinions to be kept to a minimum but I am so grateful to have had guidance of others especially older woman who have walked the path.

The greatest lesson for me was not to compare Taylah to other babies. And whilst others might be saying their babies are perfect ( which they are all perfection and miracles ) every situation presents something different. And while we had enormous pressure about Taylahs weight and how he was so small I knew it was only numbers. And whilst scientifically it is a great gauge I was positive in his resilience and that he was healthy and would grow. And grow he sure has.  His development learning and motor skills are now incredible.

We have had quite a lot of slack by co sleeping. A recent hospital visit the nurses were horrified we were co sleeping. I completely respect and understand the valid fears and concerns. But for me breast feeding all through the night and also not sleeping because I was so worried about Taylah the easiest option in the beginning was to have him in bed and have him really close so I could stop worrying. We are still co sleeping.  But at this point, I also think I love having him near hearing his breath and having his gentle fingers curl around mine. So its probably just as much for me as it is for him.

I also see that although I might of brought Taylah into the world as his parent our role as parents and those closest to us all play a role in helping to bring up a child. So the guidance and love of our family and friends is very beneficial to my child and children as a wholes growth and path ways within society. And as a result,  the future of our society.

Other mothers are an amazing source of reference and it helps to discuss what you may be experiencing. I certainly did it in my way and intuitively I knew I would find my own path. It might not of been one with all the latest and greatest baby products or by the book on parenting 101 but it has been one of love and lots of skin on skin, reading, singing cuddles and holding hands all through the night. This has given me richness beyond measure, and a love I never knew possible.

What was the transition into parenting like for both you and your partner within your relationship?

We have become really good at juggling… work and life, and getting things done in a much quicker time. I have noticed that at times when I struggled Gary rose and when he struggled I rose. So you check in on where each other is at and move the scale accordingly. I can see how its very easy to put your focus completely into your child and then wake up one day and realise you didn’t put any focus into each other. We are very grateful to the Intuitive parenting course we did with Nikki and we made lists of how we can keep tendering the relationship by identifying each others need for time out or to do something nice for themselves.  It might not be much, but a phone call on Garys way home and asking if I need anything or taking Taylah for an hour so I can have some time is very beneficial to me. I think now that Taylah is getting bigger and stronger we need to constantly remember to take up others offers to look after him for a few hours and ensure we do somethings together as a couple.

Did you make time for YOU during your Post Partum period?  If so, what was your favourite thing to do to get back to YOU?

I am still working on getting back to me. But my new changed me is also worth me nurturing and getting to know and tender.

I am an avid writer and journalling from the beginning has helped me to connect to myself and I have been able to do this while Taylah was sleeping next to me / on me. It helped me check into my emotions on a daily basis and write positive intentions for his growth and my personal development.

From the beginning as soon as I could, I used walking as my time with myself and Taylah to connect to nature and our relationship.
My ashtanga Yoga practice has always been time for me. Not to perfect postures or to have a beautiful body but the process has taught me the ability to get to know the self and nurture that aspect of me through duality of breathe and movement and mindfulness techniques to calm my mind.  It has also taught me the ability to self support in my own strengths as a woman. I really miss this block of time in my daily routine. But now our sleep is getting much better and routines are showing similar patterns I am committing where possible to myself to find these windows of practice time again. I am slowly getting back into a strong asana practice but I am ok also that it may take some time.

If you could go back to your gorgeous pregnant self, what loving, nurturing support would you offer her?

Be kind to yourself. Enjoy the richness of pregnancy and your beautiful growing body. Don’t work so hard. Remember that not everything goes to plan but that is ok. Get ready to jump into the most exciting rewarding enriching journey of your life …

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