The intention behind this series is to shine a light on some beautiful, inspiring and connected mamas and what Post Partum looked, or looks like for them.
I feel very passionately about this vital period in a new mamas life so i wanted to shed an honest and authentic light on it by asking a few beautiful mamas to shed the light and sometimes the dark side, on this vulnerable and transformational period in their life.
Meet Shae, mama to two beautiful babes. A lover of writing and timeless images. Boss babe. Meanwhile she’s ‘doing it all for her littles’ as shes a lone but incredible mama! I am SO thrilled to be sharing Shae’s authentic and beautiful account of her ‘Unique Post Partum.’
Name and Age: Shae Westwell 27
Children/Infants name and age: Chevy 2 and Everly 1
Relationship to self or another: Recently became a single mother, was a FIFO wife for 3 years, married 5 and together 9.
How has becoming a parent changed you?
I never knew what to expect from motherhood but boy did it change me. It changed not only the way I saw the world but the way I saw myself. It changed who I was but also the wife, daughter, sister and friend I was too. My priorities were now my baby/babies and they became my number ones. I put a lot of expectations on myself to be the “perfect mother” but have since realised just how unrealistic that is. I’ve learnt quality over quantity and am still learning how to balance it all. Biggest lesson to date is I cant pour from an empty cup and need to take care of me as well.
In those first few weeks Post Partum, what did it look like for you?
I can honestly say the first 5 weeks of having a newborn I lived in baby chaos/baby bliss. I questioned every choice, every sound and not a thing ever prepares you for the lack of sleep but I felt like this was the best thing to ever happen to me. I remember just being so in love and didn’t realise just how incredible it was going to be, being a mum. I wish I could bottle that feeling! I felt, even through the hard times because they come and go and life just starts to happen. Labour wasn’t easy for me but I would do it over and over for my children.
How did you feel?
I never knew you could feel the way you do when you hold your baby for the first time. The first cry, the first time you lay eyes on them and no one, and nothing else matters. Reality sets in eventually and things do get hard it’s all so unknown. I asked for help from a midwife for my son when he was 4 months old as I just wasn’t educated enough on baby sleep and feeding. Best decision I ever made! It also gave me a lot of confidence for baby number 2 and didn’t make it such a hard transition for me.
Did you feel pressure from friends, family or society in general as to how you ‘should’ parent your new baby? If so how did gently handle that sort of pressure?
Post partum care is EVERYTHING after. It is skin to skin, it is allowing your new baby the space to latch onto your breast in its own time, it is establishing a breastfeeding relationship, it is learning to wrap your baby, settle your baby and lotssss of nappy changes!
What was the transition into parenting like for both you and your partner within your relationship?
Parenthood is the best and worst thing that ever happened to us, having kids was the total breakdown of our marriage. We both changed in a way that pushed us apart, it was also a struggle with him working away. I didn’t know how to compartmentalise having the kids as a priority while he was away and then adding him back in once he was home. My life became about being a mum and I forgot how to be a wife. Chevy was only 1 when we fell pregnant again and that too was also a big transition for us as I don’t do pregnancy well. Add a toddler and tough pregnancy and life became hard. I don’t ever regret a thing but I am learning a lot about myself as a person and a mother since becoming a single mother. I’ve had to learn to trust people more and also him as their father to take care of them. To ask for help and as much as it helps to be organised sometimes you just need to be in the present.
Did you make time for YOU during your Post Partum period? If so, what was your favourite thing to do to get back to YOU?
No I didn’t and that is something I’m working really hard to change. Mum guilt is an evil bitch but I know now that me doing something as simple as going for a walk alone is good for both me and them. I wish I listened to my friends who tried to tell me how important it is to do this.
Post Partum & Infant Connection eWorkshop
Are you seeking a deeper knowledge of what to expect within your Post Partum period? Do you crave a supportive, non judgmental environment? Are you ready to be informed and to feel empowered on your new and exciting journey into parenthood?
