A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it! -Jerry Seinfeld –
When our children are having a tantrum it is their attempt to communicate the best way that they know how. In a world of overstimulation, loud noises, shopping centres, loud entertainment systems,appointments here there & everywhere, it’s no wonder our children aren’t on their ‘best’ behaviour at all times, I know that I’m certainly not, so how can I expect them to be! When I’m upset & emotional, trying my best to communicate through it all, the last thing that I would expect or want is for my husband to ‘ignore me’ or to ‘smack me’ or to ‘put me in a time out corner’ why then do we treat our little humans this way? ‘Time outs may seem like a good solution, but by removing the child from the rest of the family can give an unintended, harmful message of conditional love.
we love you when you behave, but if you misbehave you are no longer welcome to be with the family – Jan Hunt –
Instead of ‘time outs’ we call them ‘time ins’ our children do need space to calm down but we do it with them, we made a jar of calm down fairies, by using water, food colouring & glitter glue, they then shake it up & watch the glitter fall to the bottom of the jar (for boys you could use feathers to blow on or soft dinosaur toys to line up) the concept is that you are creating a quiet space to calm down (always go to the same space) you are with them & showing them that you are empathising with them as well as supporting them & you are giving them appropriate tools to help them calm themselves, empowering them to take control of their own huge emotions! I usually put the timer on for the child’s age & once it rings we hug & talk about why we were using our ‘time in’ space. Our family motto is ‘Treat others as you wish to be treated’ a beautiful, simple motto to keep in mind.
