Discover Conscious & Intuitive Parenting
We are cranky, they get cranky. We stare at our screens because it can be the path with less conflict and struggle.
We’re busy, they’re TOO busy!
We punish rather then choose to teach.
We forget to stop. Listen and connect.
Sometimes it really is all too much.
It’s too trying, too tiring and too much of a challenge.
When I was pregnant I never even considered that I may not be able to breastfeed.
When my first daughter was born the labor and birth were quite traumatic and resulted in an emergency c section. After a very quick look and cuddle, she was taken to the special care nursery and we were separated for quite a few hours. When I was finally able to see and hold her and have some skin to skin time it was only for a short while, in which she nuzzled around my breast a little, and then due to my health I had to be taken out of special care and so we were separated again.
As parents we all have far too much to do.
Our modern lives are focused around productivity, both at work and in our home, most days I feel a constant need both internally and externally to have “something done” with my day, to be ticking items off my long to-do list.
But what if what we really need, every now and then, is just to do nothing?
To hibernate. To slow down. ⠀ As the cooler months start to close in around us lets choose to disconnect from the outside world a little more (and more importantly the online world!) and let’s opt for a deeper connection with our loved ones. What would it feel like to entrench ourselves in our emotional and spiritual wellbeing rather than our sole focus being on our physical fitness?
Perhaps we could begin with putting down our phones and actually checking in with each other.
Attachment parenting tends to be one of those terms that parents either cringe at or they show a strong interest in learning more about. For myself and my husband we kind of just ‘fell’ into an attachment parenting kind of life.
Parenting your baby during the night is not about a set of rules and sleep strategies. Parenting your baby at night time is all about connection.
As a new parent I was shocked to find myself feeding my new baby literally around the clock. Eight weeks into being a new mama I was desperate for sleep. I called in the big guns, a local midwife! ‘The reason your baby will not sleep is due to her sleep associations. Your baby has a dummy AND you breastfeed her to sleep.’ These were her exact words stated to me as I was crying and feeding my eight week old daughter. To sleep.
If you are a parent or if you have ever interacted with a child between the ages of 18 months and 3 years, then you most likely have witnessed many of the milestone behaviour within autonomy versus shame and doubt stage from Erik Erikson’s stage of psycho social development, such as wanting to dress themselves, feed themselves with their fingers, or you may have even experienced a struggle trying to hold them amongst a pool of tears because they can’t and won’t find their drink bottle (even though you know that they haven’t even started looking for it and it’s on the kitchen bench!).
Expectations.
We all have them.
Do your expectations as an adult meet up with your expectations that YOU have for your baby? Your child?
Expectations as an adult tend to go a little like this… To be loved. To be respected. To be acknowledged and also nurtured.
Why then do we feel that our baby or older children would not also have these same expectations?
I ask this because I feel that some of us are still on the same ‘old school’ page of Crying It Out (CIO). With our little people we may feel even that punishment is more sufficient instead of teaching. Perhaps we have an expectation that our children should ‘respect our authority’ then we will return the favour and in turn ‘respect them!’
I know that this might jostle a few feathers and I am ok with that, because if it does, then I am SO pleased that you are here. I am so excited that you are using the new year as an opportunity to take stock, take action and create change within your home, after all this is where the magic really happens..
Is anyone else feeling the overwhelm of the year coming to a close?
Parties, dinners, graduations, the organisation of trips away, shopping, shopping, shopping…
Are your children feeling ‘off track and stressed out?’
Could it be they’re reflecting the negative energy you’re putting out?
I know as a mama I’m having my fair share of ‘moments’ as the holidays rapidly approach, and I know that my children are vibing off of that too. We are all so ready for the holidays to begin whilst also being aware that, ‘this too shall pass.’ And it does pass, seemingly more and more quickly as the years go by.
This time of year is a wrap up of all that has come in the months before while at the same time often an avalanche of chaos, stress and anxiety around the numerous things we need to get done, to attend, to buy, to cook, to clean, item after item that needs to be handled and ticked off our many, many holiday ‘to do’ lists. This can create tension within homes, anger around finances being stretched, and anxiety around events with young children.
Mama Guilt, we ALL do it!
Guilt- Some mamas say they never live a day without it. We worry. Did we give enough of our time today? Did I feed him well enough? She hardly slept today and yesterday, is she cutting her day sleeps or was it because I met my girlfriend for a coffee?
We feel overstretched by the demands of a busy household, the juggle of work and our kids. Spending time with friends and your partner. There are days where we might think to ourselves ‘is this it? Is this part of some divine plan to have me feeling like a nervous wreck!?’
Motherhood introduces us to so many varied mind states, such extremes of emotions that can feel so unfamiliar and at times disturbing. We will swing from one to the other. Revisiting old wounds, and hurts.
We also try to hide all of these feelings due to undulating pressure on ourselves and from our friends and family, society as a whole. Because we are supposed to feel ‘good’ about being in this place called mamahood.
We are so quick to judge each other too for feeling all of this and some. Then those mama guilt feelings come up again because we shouldn’t be feeling this way.
The intention behind this series is to shine a light on some beautiful, inspiring and connected mamas and what Post Partum looked, or looks like for them.
I feel very passionately about this vital period in a new mamas life so I wanted to shed an honest and authentic light on it by asking a few beautiful mamas to shed the light and sometimes the dark side, on this vulnerable and transformational period in their life.
Meet Carly, a beautifully down to earth mama bear of two little cubs. They live in the mountains always grounding themselves with yoga. Her ‘Unique Post Partum’ is beautifully written with true authenticity whilst honoring herself as a new mama to her most recent blessing but also as a mother to her eldest daughter. I am honored to have her share her ‘Unique Post Partum’ with you all.
